Ethan Radstrom
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Ethan Radstrom

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Blood Runs Thicker Than Water

Excerpt from In the Stables

Even after he woke up
with a screwdriver sticking out of his stomach
he wouldn't leave her
neither would he leave her
when she burned all his clothes
in a garbage can in the backyard
she even took the money once from his paycheque
to get herself an abortion
after a fling she had with some stranger
she’d met one night at the Cromdale

But Rooster was no saint himself
he drank as much as Audrey did
and then some
he used to joke with me
about waking up in the morning
always faced with tough choices
because there'd be a case of beer
on the floor beside the bed
and Audrey laying next to him

“Which one would you kiss good morning?” I'd ask
“Which do you think?” he'd answer

The difference between them
was that Audrey had a temper
that could strip the paint from a church altar
and sand and refinish the thing
until it looked like a coffin
while Rooster preferred laughing
as a way to vent his sorrow
and he could get just about anybody laughing
until tears were streaming down their cheeks
and Rooster would be laughing and crying
right along with 'em
but it always struck me that Rooster's tears
weren't always about the funny stories

I knew Rooster from the racetrack
where we worked as horse grooms
in the same race stable
and there was probably no better
horse groom in the world than Rooster
and I learned more from him
about taking care of a racehorse
than pretty much anyone else

Now when people work together
seven days a week like on racetracks
you get to know each other pretty well
and it's hard to have secrets
well, one day Rooster shared the secret
of when his daughter died a long time ago
and how he still carried the guilt around
like an anvil on his shoulders
because he considered himself responsible
for not getting her to the hospital in time
after she slipped on the ice
and cracked her head on the sidewalk
and when he told me this
he had a smile on his face
but not the laughing kind of smile
more the grateful kind
that let me know he was glad
there was someone
he could share this burden with

One time I went over to Rooster's place
to visit and have a few beers
and I could hear him and Audrey fighting
when I was still at the top of the stairs
going down to their basement suite
they were arguing real loud
and they both hollered Open!
when I knocked at the door
then ignored me like I wasn't there
when I went inside
and carried on with their arguing

They were both furious
and sounded ready to kill each other

I sat at the kitchen table and waited

Rooster was mad as hell
because Audrey's son
had taken his car without permission
and had smashed it up
but Audrey’s son had no money
to cover the insurance
so Rooster was going to press charges
against him and be done with him

I never once imagined it was even possible
for Rooster to be so crazy mad
his face turned as many colours
as when you throw copper wiring
into a bonfire

Then at one point they both stopped
and looked at me and asked
“So what do you think?!?”
I sat there not thinking anything at first
except for the weird taste in my mouth
as if I'd been sucking on a 9 volt battery

What could I say?

So I piped up
"All I know is that blood runs thicker than water"
and I saw Rooster collapse on the couch
with his shoulders slumped in defeat
while Audrey softened up like a pillow
"He's my son, Rooster
I can't let you put him in jail
I'd lose him forever"

Rooster shook his head slowly
and smiled
but not the laughing kind of smile

“I know I know,” he said
“Blood runs thicker than water.
 I just can't tell the difference anymore
 which one drowns you slower”




















{ A novel by Ethan Radstrom }
    The guard’s shack looks like a dollhouse as I come up to the gate. The guard doesn’t even pay attention as I pass through. Just sits there watching his little TV with his hands folded on top his plump belly, nods at me without taking his eyes off the screen. I slide my license back into my pocket and carry on through. The backstretch feels a whole lot safer with those uniforms guarding the premises. Hell, we’re all saved souls with the zookeepers around day and night.

    Hard to believe those fat bums got jurisdiction over what I can and cannot do. That they’re the long arm of the law, not making the rules but upholding them so’s everything works out according to the books. As if racing horses is a fair sport and the rules are there to give everyone the same chances at winning. Ha, what a joke, the rules always favor the rule makers. Which is why the peasants have to do as they’re told while the bosses cross their legs and blow smoke rings the shape of dollar signs.

. . . Read More



Take a Pill at Rag Studio



Thumbs of the World

I see
a whirling dervish
of thumbs
moving faster than
the speed of rolling eyeballs

Thumbs
all around punching out
an alphabet soup
of haiku speech
which make pockets
vibrate like inbox
confessionals

I hear nothing
and I taste nothing
but everywhere I see
this thing happening
like a biblical plague
overwhelming the world
with an onslaught of instantaneous
‘Yo…what’s up, man?’

Ah, truly truly
the thumb is mightier than the sword
whereas in ancient times
there were pigeons
carrying messages
strong enough to topple
stronghold kingdoms
and not so long ago
there were telegraph wires
singing melodies electric
like swansong deliverance
from these miles
which lay between us
and nowadays
there’s constellations
of satellite guardian angels
taking care that our most precious
prayer thoughts
home and seek out
our intended targets with
the accuracy of Cupid’s arrows
at a Valentine’s day orgy

Thumbs of the world unite!
that we may twitter and text
and punch our way
forwards through the vacuum
of these distances between us
because all thoughts are sacred
and all of us have the right to be heard
and now we can
we can message each the other
right now
right now
right now
and I may be hearing nothing
I may be tasting nothing
but I can see a frenzy of thumbs
in repeated gestures
and I can feel
the pockets and purses the world over
vibrating with instantaneous glee
and what if we all
just vibrate like this together
a global village of pockets and purses
getting off all at once
with thumbs texting like mad love
ia single grand message
we are the same
we are together
we are the same together
yes yes yes

So please, my friends
for the future of the world

Take care of your thumbs



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